We Never Lose Friends, We Just Face Reality

Last night Juliet Sykes died but today she's alive again, now I have officially lived February 12th four times. While heading to school, I start noticing things I wouldn't before, like how bad friend Lindsay is and start arguing until she stops the car and drops me off in the middle of the highway. I reach school in fourth period and have Math class with Mr. Daimler, and make myself a mess. I disobey him, sit in his desk and flirt with him, and we even end up kissing!! 

And I leave for lunch but my friends have left me by myself; our lunch table is empty. But since I can't allow myself to be seen alone at lunch I head to the old bathroom in the science wing of the school. But in the bathroom I find myself talking to Anna Cartullo (someone that has THE lowest social status) and the odd thing is that I like her. She's funny and we even end up swapping shoes and sharing a cigarette. 

A few hours later school ends and I'm about to call Lindsay when I remember I'm in a fight with her, and I have nowhere to go. Luckily, a few girls I nickname The Pugs invite me to go shopping with them but first they take me home were I ''borrow'' my mother's credit card. At the mall I practically buy everything, from shoes, to a new dress, to a complete make up palette at MAC and more. Then we have a pre-party of five rounds of margaritas at a very expensive italian restaurant and go to the party. At Kent's house I'm drunk and lost, and the only thing I do is keep on drinking. Past midnight I find myself crying in a dark room and Kent McFuller comforting  me, we talk like we used to when we were kids, and he offers me to stay the night at one of his guest rooms kindly. But again the next morning is like a refreshed webpage, I have a clean slate to play over for next 24 hours.
 February 12th (fifth time) My friends are back, my boyfriend, and popularity too. That day I convince my mom to let me stay and so does my sister Izzy. 

I love Izzy, she's unique and brave, she dresses as she wants, she does what she wants and doesn't mind what others think. I really hope that stays with her forever. Talking to Izzy makes me remember my days before Lindsay ''rescued me''; back then I used to go to my favourite hideaway place, I called it Goose Point. Goose Point was a huge rock that a few miles from our house going thru the woods.

Today I take Izzy there, we talk and have real sister bonding. This place reminds me of my childhood back then it was isolated from the world but now many houses have been built and it isn't as distant from society anymore. It makes me realize sometimes things change and we can only learn to adapt.

Popularity is odd. In the book when Samantha is left in the parking lot after school and says, 
''It’s the weirdest thing. I’m popular-really popular- but I don’t have many friends. What’s even weirder is that it’s the first time I’ve noticed'' (Oliver, 225.) It makes me think there are three things people should know. First popularity doesn't mean happiness, second quality matters over quantity and third be open to everyone.

''But for some of us there is only today. And the truth is, you never really know'' (Oliver 268.)
This quote is so true, life is unknown. But that is part of the charm having to live in the moment, because if you live in the future you will live anxiously and for people who live in the past they live depressed.

This book is sad and depressing but it shows you how you are the one that chooses the path you take. Everyday Sam wakes up and gets the chance to experiment and take weird decisions that take her to so many different ends. It is like each moment has thousands of different scenarios. Even though Sam is dying she gets the chance to take risks and see her life in different ways.

February 12, Cupid Day

I wake up the next morning and the dream starts again, it is still February 12, what is going on around here?? A double deja vu? I think I''ll just have to miss school, stay all day in pijamas while I freak out, it's not like it is THE most important day and I have already lived it (I think) so anyways whatever.... Few hours later... Even though I told my mom I was ''sick'' she makes me go to school but I make her drop me at the .22 mile parking lot, I'm not letting anyone see what car my mom drives... In chem the sophomore angel-girl drops Robs valogram with a rose ''Luv ya'' what is that!? Then I head towards the cafeteria and I get into a little fight with Rob and later meet with the girls and while talking to them I realise if there is no party, there will be no accident and BOOM, my life will come back and I will wake up in a hospital room with all my friends, family and Rob. It is difficult to convince the girls but at last we decide to have a sleepover at Ally's. On seventh period Lindsay and I ditch class and have a great time at TCBY (The Country's Best Yogurt) and then almost get caught at the Smokers Lounge.
Later in the night, my friends and I are having a blast, but every good thing must come to an end and for us it ended with Mrs. Harris (Ally's mom), we had to turn off the music and go to sleep. Now its 2 am and someone's phone is buzzing, then we hear Ally's mom come down and as we open our sleepy eyes we see her with a really serious face. Elody turns the lights on and we gather around Mrs. Harris and she says, ''Remember Juliet Sykes?'' and we are like yeah so what? ''Well, I just got a call from one of our neighbours and told me she just killed her face.'' Our faces loose their color and words fade away from us, except for Lindsay that doesn't seem to care about this. Then I wonder, was this our fault? I mean Lindsay did made her life impossible by calling her Mellow Yellow for supposedly wetting the bed at camp in fifth grade but that is so not new but on the other side Lindsay has made the whole school hate her but it is only because she's a freak, but still....... 
I start to walk away from the couch and tell Lindsay I am going to the bathroom but actually head to the attic, there I find Ally's old yearbooks and start when we were all in first grade and find Lindsay's class, and there it is Juliet and Lindsay shinning together like best friends. Then I check for second grade and the same, both of them together; third grade Lindsay and Juliet matching outfits; fourth grade Lindsay and Juliet holding hands; but then fifth grade, Lindsay emanating light and happiness and Juliet hidden in one of the corners with her hair covering her face. The year Lindsay started Mellow Yellow rumour!!!

Friendship is part of life, and I think it is really important for people to have true friends. In the book when Sam says, ''I'm pretty sure I  know what she's thinking, though I would never say it outloud. Lindsay, Ally, Elody and I are as close as you can be, but there are still some thing we never talk about (Oliver, 106.) I wonder what is the point of having friends if you can't talk about anything? but as well I understand some things are private and personal.

As we get deeper into the book Sam discovers she is sort of dead or dying and she says  ''It's no what I imagined death would be like-not what I imagined would come afterward-but then again it's not like there's anyone around to tell you about it ( Oliver, 132.) I infer her day of death will be repeated until she finds peace.

Sam again, now really no kidding am I really dead? Come one!! I'm or was seventeen, there are/were many things I didn't go the chance to do, this really shouldn't be me. I can't believe it happened. 

The Elite

''Before I Fall'' by Lauren Oliver
Samantha Kingston is a senior attending Thomas Jefferson High School, ranked among the top ten booziest public schools of all Connecticut or nicknamed Suicide High after a group of students left the school and drove off a bridge. Among other perks of this institution there is a popularity rank between students, luckily Lindsay ''The Group Leader'' rescued Samantha from the social bottom in seventh grade and now lives in the inner circle along with her two other friends Ally and Elody and her boyfriend Rob.

Inside the elite everything is simple and easy, popularity offers a no-consequence policy for anything done.
The story starts on a chilly February morning on Cupid Day with the four friends chatting on the latest gossip and how much roses will each one get. In Thomas Jefferson High the number of roses you receive is quite a huge deal, it ranks your popularity and beauty, this year Lindsay is shooting for twenty-five. While the day moves on the girls get invited to party at Kent's, a weird guy that was Sam's best friend in elementary school and supposedly has a crush on her. After school they all crash at Ally's to get ready for the party and have two shots of vodka and head to the party. As they reach the party Samantha feels weird, like the night doesn't flow. Rob is drunk and the four girls just had a discussion with Juliet Sykes ''Pyscho Girl''. They head outside and leave the party, its past midnight and it rains like crazy, but suddenly everything changes they're all talking when a bright light gets in their way and..... darkness. All of a sudden Samantha wakes up in her bed and remembers what she thinks was a strange dream of yesterday but her sister Izzy tells her to get ready for school since it's Cupid Day (AGAIN!?)  Sam doesn't get is it a dejavú? And again she heads to the party and everything follows the same and Darkness comes again.

In the start of the book Samantha talks about death; she tells you how from one second to the other everything changes. The quote,''You don't  remember to tell your parents that you love them or- in my  case- remember to say good-bye to them at all (Oliver 7.) While reading this passage it made me think we need to live in the moment, the things that matter are NOW not tomorrow not yesterday. It made me realize that people have to live in the present and be thankful for what the have because one day the won't.
Then as the story moves forward we learn that Sam's grandma was a crazy old lady and was ''loosing it''  and how Samantha used to say, ''I hope I die young (Oliver, 44.)''  I find this quote very shocking and completely disagree with it, life has so so so much to offer; and even through hard times we have to learn to appreciate them because those experiences are the things that make a person who they are.

Before I Fall is a really weird novel,  even though the stories problem is extreme and twisted this book shows relatable conflicts.  Through its pages I can see how bullying affects people, illustrates what problems teenagers feel and societies' reactions. My prediction is that Samantha will discover the true meaning and importance of life in her last days, she will understand what weights more in life and find true friendship.