Before and After

BEFORE

After that drunk night in the barn, the Colonel, Alaska, Pudge, Takumi and Lara, went back to school and burst into tears looking at the new smurf weekday warriors. To celebrate their accomplishments once again Miles, the Colonel and Alaska went to the barn. Between Alaska and the Colonel they got really drunk. At somewhere between the middle of the night Alaska and Pudge hooked up. The made out but Alaska was too tired and told him ''to be continued?'' and fell asleep. Later in the night Alaska woke Pudge and Chip (the Colonel) very anxiously and desperate. She told them to help her drive off campus somewhere she didn't say. Chip and Miles didn't argue and just did what Alaska said, the blew up some firecrackers at the Eagle's house and went back to sleep. It was typical Alaska.....

AFTER

The next day the woke and went back to their dorms, but all students were called for an assembly. At first Chip and Miles thought they were caught with the fake reports and would be expelled, but then they couldn't find Alaska. They told the Eagle if they could wait for her for the announcement to be said but he just told them to wait and see. Alaska had died in a car accident last night. When the two friends received the news their hearts almost stopped, it wasn't something you heard everyday especially from Alaska Young. They couldn't believed what happened, they were in complete denial, Pudge feelings were everywhere. Did she meant what she said last night? What happened? Did she love me? Did she even care about me?
Everything had changed
And as for the Colonel he had learned every capital from every country, have walked 84 miles and learned the population from every country. They were going insane. They first attended Alaska's funeral and later went back to school and the Eagle told them to clean up anything Alaska's aunt shouldn't find. It was really hard for them to go back to her dorm. To look at those mountains of piled books, her Life Library, to smell the candles in her desk. Yet they did it and Pudge looked for her favourite book The Labyrinth, even though it was very blurry due to the water from the weekday warriors prank it was readable. Pudge went through a few pages that had different side notes and find one that was written after the flooding, it said ''straight and fast''. What did it meant?  
Chip decided he needed the truth. Therefore a few days later he and Miles went to the police station and asked a few questions to the cop that saw her crash. He told them the car in which she was driving never tried to avoid the crash, like it was a suicide mission. They also asked if there was any weird item in the car and he told them there were some white tulips.
Then everything made sense, she killed herself without even blinking, as the cop said. Neither the Colonel or Pudge could accept what they were told, they both knew the answers they would get wouldn't be good but they needed the truth, they need normality.



''Pudge,  what you must understand about me is that I am a deeply unhappy person'' (Green, 125)

I would never imagine Alaska was sad, her personality was so outgoing and fascinating. When she was first introduced in the book her whole existence sounded like a perfect daydream. She had friends, a boyfriend, she was smart, people liked her, she was a risk-taker but never sad. This quote makes me think that from the outside everything will always look better, in the show Gossip Girl, girls inside the Elite were rich, famous, had hot boyfriends, lived in pent houses in Manhattan, attended the best schools, yet as the show started developing you could see how sad their lives were, everything they ever had was drama. People have to learn not to judge people because they don't know their story and to appreciate their own life, because no one's life is perfect.

''I just looked past him, looking across the too-quiet dorm circle, wondering if it had mattered to her, and I can only tell myself that of course, she had promised .To be continued. (Green 146.)

I think the worst part when you are into someone is the extra analysis we do intro everyting they say. No matter if it was just a ''hi!''or a complete question, we wonder around and look for every possible hint we could get. It is terrible that we humans do that since our minds can fantasize the worst-case-scenarios and crack our heads all day from it.

John Green has this special talent of turning the story in such ways no one would expect. I can't believe he made Alaska, the MOST IMPORTANT character die. The tension created is unexplainable. Like Chip and Pudge, I am falling apart trying to figure out Alaska. I think she killed herself because she had accomplished her goals, even though she never said it she was in love with Pudge.